Story 104
I had a job at a university, and I saw things, over time, which shouldn’t have been happening. I didn't get involved at first. I assumed things would just stop. They didn't. Then someone boasted about serious misconduct that needed intervention. No one would do anything. I needed to speak to someone who could help.
I met with a senior staff member who thanked me for not naming names and told me to keep an eye on things. Nothing changed and the egregious acts just continued as before. Then this person left their position. Soon after, promotion opportunities were announced for which I was qualified. Despite two attempts, I was unsuccessful. Between those two attempts, I had shared with upper management a diagnosis of anxiety which I had received just a few years earlier. I don’t know how it affects others but often it has little visible impact on my life. I have worked with people for years who do not know that it is part of my world. At the extremes, though, it dominates and controls everything 24/7. It can be a terrifying thing to experience. My mental health collapsed.
The organisation had an external counselling service, and I arranged an appointment. The counsellor was clear and used direct language: “Get out of there”, I was told. I would continue to be unwell if I stayed there. Forget the money and everything else, just go. This left me angry and the more I thought, the angrier I got. I was so unwell that my GP signed me off sick. My mental health was in a dreadful state.
There was one more senior person I could send the information to, and I did. I sent the entire history of the improper events at the university and what I had done to try and help put a stop to it. Summing it up emotionally, I wrote that every attempt had failed, and that I could do no more. Was it too much to ask to work in an environment where there are clear guidelines, which make sense and are enforced? I also noted that no other organisation would have managed it like this. Perhaps, I commented, now they might understand why so many had reported the bullying that was going on in a recent staff survey.
I finished by saying; “I am exhausted.”
My paperwork drew a prompt response, which gave me some hope. They wrote that they viewed the allegations as “extremely serious” and told me to contact a particular person. Long story short, after a long and exhaustive endeavor, still nothing was done to correct the egregious activities that had transpired. I was so angry. I felt like they had cheated me, like they had tricked me out of my job.
They offered me money if I left and signed an NDA, a gagging clause. I asked for it to be removed; they wouldn’t. They would not pay me any money unless I agreed to the NDA. I thought these clauses were about protecting real secrets, not about gagging staff who were asking senior people to stop some other staff engaging in misconduct or theft. My mental health plunged. I remained ill, and sometimes desperately so, for years. I am still not comfortable going into detail as I went to some very dark places. Had I not had the love of my partner and children, I don’t know what would have happened to me.
I do not think students should pick up the bill. They were paying anyway to cover the costs of any thefts and staff misconduct, but they were expected to buy my silence as well. My conscience wouldn’t let me take money off the students. This NDA problem will not stop on its own. I hope that a politician, or a political party, has the courage to give this the attention it deserves.
